The Check Up: Too much booze, you lose (your credibility)
I am NOT a doctor…but I was delivered by one once.
I am just a regular Joe (despite being named Steve) I like my slurpees cold, my hot sauce hot, and my turtles trained in ninjutsu. As outlined above, I am not a medically trained professional, nor do I claim to be (well, sometimes).
I am 26-years-old and sadly cancer and heart disease have been present in my family for the last few years. My Nana and Papa, Fred and Francis, had suffered heart attacks and underwent triple bypasses before losing their lives to lung cancer in 2008 and 2010, respectively. My Uncle Mike, died unexpectedly from a heart attack in 2005 at the age of 41.
These three people have been great, positive influences on me and the way I live my life. They were always there for me, my mom and brother and helped us out during some really rough periods. They were also some of the funniest people I have ever met and my Papa and Uncle always joked around with us and they have instilled that quality in my brother and I.
They have inspired me to help others as they have helped me. So because they lost their lives to serious diseases and because they were always joking around, I decided to combine this into a column where I give you tips that you can incorporate into your daily life that helps reduce your risk of cancer and heart disease, while taking a goofy, light-hearted approach to it. I don’t think my family would have wanted it any other way!
Having said that, let’s get started!
Anything in excess is not good. For instance, I love pizza, but if I eat tons of pizza in a week, by the end of said week, I will not feel good and most importantly, it is unhealthy. Same goes for the consumption of alcohol and other assorted booze. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that I enjoy a few cold ones myself, but limiting your alcohol consumption is not only good for your well-being, it is also good when it comes to proving the validity of your stories.
One of my best friends, we will call him Neil, found himself in a sticky situation once after a night of drinking. While wandering home he was approached by a, shall we say, ‘lady of the night.’ After spurning her advances, she then called over to her, ahem, benefactor (aka PIMP) who angrily approached Neil. Neil checked his watch and realized it was clobberin’ time and did exactly that. Or so he says…
Due to the sheer outrageousness of the tale, Neil has received many a hazing because he has no proof. He owns a Blackberry(tm), so surely it wouldn’t have been difficult nor time consuming to snap a pic of the punched-out pimp…and don’t call me Shirley… Because his response time and decision-making abilities were compromised and cloudy, there is now no photographic evidence, just verbal confirmation of this ‘ripping good yarn!’
Excessive drinking can fast-track your chances of both heart disease and cancer. The Heart & Stroke Foundation says ‘If you drink alcohol, limit yourself to one or two standard drinks a day, to a weekly maximum of nine for women and 14 for men.’
If only Neil had drank 14 (or less) drinks, instead of 20, he’d not only be helping his health, but also his reputation as well!
[illegible Doctor writing]
Dr. Steve, Ph.D. (Pretty Helpful Dude)
Noel you are talking about Noel, Me smart!!!!!!!!!!